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Praise for Effectively Representing Clients in Family Mediation


“As a psychologist I’ve found this book invaluable for both my own mediation practice and working with lawyers. This book makes an enormous contribution

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Praise for Effectively Representing Clients in Family Mediation


“As a psychologist I’ve found this book invaluable for both my own mediation practice and working with lawyers. This book makes an enormous contribution to the field of family mediation.”
-Robin M. Deutsch, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and Mediator, Professor William James College (ret.), Associate Clinical Professor Harvard Medical School (ret.), Newton, MA


“A masterpiece—a simply stunning case for creating a lucrative, honorable, and sustainable practice representing clients in family mediation. The authors dazzle us with the massive benefits for attorneys and clients and chart out an unprecedented step-by-step manual chock-full of the precise concepts, skills, and practice tips that can change attorney life as we know it and create a more peaceful world. If the authors’ approach to family lawyering becomes widespread, the profession will become what we dreamed it could be when we decided to go to law school—a world where attorneys are peacemakers who profoundly help people and family law attorneys support parents and their children’s brightest future.”
-Michael Aurit, Co-Founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation, President of The Academy of Professional Family Mediators (2019-2022), and Adjunct Professor at The Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law


“As mediation for family disputes grows in popularity it is essential to have a comprehensive guide for family lawyers on how to effectively advise and represent their clients throughout the resolution process. This incredibly helpful and insightful book, by three legends in the field, distills the essential insights into an accessible and well-designed volume. The “bonus chapter” on online mediation from Susan Guthrie (itself growing rapidly) is icing on the cake.”
-Colin Rule, CEO mediate.com


“Effectively Representing Clients in Family Mediation is essential reading for every attorney who wants to help clients resolve their family law disputes without availing the court system. The authors have pulled together both the theoretical and practical into one book, answering every question about how to effectively practice law as a Peacemaker. The world needs more Peacemakers and this amazing book will help us do our best work.”
-Brian Galbraith, Collaborative Attorney, Mediator, Trainer, President of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, Barrie, Ontario (Canada)


“With this book Mosten, Scully, and Traum provide everything legal practitioners need to expand the legal services they offer while at the same time improving their job satisfaction and financial bottom line. A fabulous resource.”
-Kevin R. Scudder, JD, Secretary, International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, Chair, Collaborative Law Committee, ABA Section of Dispute Resolution, Seattle, WA


“In Effectively Representing Clients in Family Mediation, Woody ‘Forrest’ Mosten, Hon. Elizabeth Potter Scully, and Lara Traum draw on over a century of combined professional experience to offer an extraordinarily generous gift to the peacemakers (and future peacemakers) of the family law community. This book is a leading-edge treatise on both the art and science of enlightened family mediation. The authors start by placing the current state of mediation (as well collaboration and multi-disciplinary divorce work) in an evolutionary context. They go on to carefully deconstruct the process of successfully shepherding clients through the emotionally fraught, practically complex, and legally rigorous transition from one household to two—from our earliest contacts with clients through to the signing of their Agreement and beyond. Familiar ideas such as ‘unbundling’ are given new life. Less familiar concepts are skillfully introduced and integrated. Meticulously thorough and authoritative (though never doctrinaire), the authors lean into even the least-discussed yet crucial aspects of our work (nowhere else have I read a nuanced exploration of issues around professionals’ fees!). The authors’ respect and empathy for their clients and colleagues, and of the hard work couples face in making difficult decisions during a period of intense upheaval, shine through in their writing. The authors also display the rare ability to distill often-confusing concepts into manageable chunks, and to describe them in non-jargony, reassuring, plain-English. Even this mental health professional found it a zippy read. There’s something for everyone here: Seasoned professionals will gain increased clarity and renewed professional energy; greener practitioners will be affected in career-altering ways. Whether you’re a curious skeptic or are already passionately aware that when human relationships falter court will (almost) always make things exponentially worse, this book has the potential to transform your practice. Read it today and put it to work at your mediation table tomorrow.”
Kate Scharff, LICSW, LCSW-C, LCSW, Psychotherapist, family mediator, Collaborative Divorce Coach and Child Specialist Author, Therapy Demystified: An Insider’s Guide to Getting the Right Help, Co-Author (with Lisa Herrick, PhD), Navigating Emotional Currents in Collaborative Divorce: A Guide to Enlightened Team Practice, and Mastering Crucial Moments in Separation and Divorce: A Multidisciplinary Guide to Excellence in Practice and Outcome


“A magnificent contribution: comprehensive and clear, inspirational and practical, firmly grounded in experience and wisdom. An essential guide for any lawyer who even considers representing a client in family mediation.”
-Leonard L. Riskin, Author, Managing Conflict Mindfully: Don’t Believe Everything You Think (2023), Visiting Professor, Northwestern University Pritzker School of Law


“This book is an essential resource for lawyers who want to develop a thriving and satisfying practice representing mediation clients.”
-Ron Ousky, Past President, International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, Minneapolis, MN


“This book provides a model of the lawyer as peacemaker. It offers rich perspectives, resources and examples of how lawyers can incorporate mediation into their practices to help both parents and their children.”
-Andrew I. Schepard, Sidney & Walter Siben Distinguished Professor of Family Law and Director of the Center for Children, Families and the Law, Maurice A. Deane School of Law at Hofstra University


“A MUST READ for Mediators and all Family Law Attorneys. This book provides consulting attorneys and mediators the necessary framework so that the mediation can succeed from the beginning.”
-Patricia Van Haren, Collaborative Attorney and Mediator, President, Collaborative Solutions of Orange County, Irvine, CA


“Having practiced family law for 47 years, I find that this book is a brilliant, comprehensive, wise and practical roadmap for lawyers navigating family law mediation.”
-Wlliam J. Howe , Gevurtz Menashe, Portland, OR, Former Chair of Oregon Statewide Family Law Advisory Committee


“As a mental health professional who has met with far too many children and families emotionally scarred by the adversarial family court system, it gives me pleasure and relief to see the American Bar Association promoting greater awareness among family lawyers of the huge role they can play as peacemakers. I studied divorce mediation with Woody Mosten and have the highest regard for his creativity and generosity in sharing the wisdom derived from his many years of mediation and collaborative practice experience with mediation novices and trainees, both attorneys and non-attorneys alike. This book, co-authored with Elizabeth Scully and Lara Tram, is another great contribution to the field, filled with practical tips and strategies.”
Robert A. Horwitz, Ph.D., Psychologist / Mediator, New Haven, CT, Former President, Connecticut Psychological Association and Connecticut Council for Divorce Mediation, Former Secretary, Academy of Professional Family Mediators


“So the question these days, as put by David Hoffman in his introduction, is not whether lawyers should introduce the notion of mediation to their clients, but how. From there shines Woody Mosten’s brilliance. Woody, a lawyer who is a practicing mediator since 1979, makes him one of the founding fathers of this dispute resolution practice. Woody and his co-authors, Judge Elizabeth Potter Scully, and Lara Traum understand and appreciate the lawyer’s mind. From my personal perspective, that lawyer’s mind is one that is traditionally steeped in litigation, duking out disputes, often to a death-like ending with the pronouncement of a winner and a loser. Taking all that traditional lawyer training and indoctrination and retooling the thinking of a lawyer from that to peacemaking, is no small task. Helping the lawyer to understand and appreciate the difference in lawyering as a peacemaker is indeed a paradigm shift. Effectively Representing Clients in Family Mediation is the now ‘go-to’ book for lawyers in the present who find themselves yet adjusting to the paradigm shift, many of whom must as part of practice, recommend mediation to their clients. Indeed, not only is informing clients of the role and availability of mediation legislated in many jurisdictions (recently as 2021 throughout Canada), but many a lawyer also now find themselves having to stick-handle their client through that process, unprepared. Lawyers who jump into mediation without training and without having made the paradigm shift to peacemaker, tend to treat mediation more like arbitration and still prepare for battle. Meanwhile, this book helps those new to the practice better understand major differences between the litigator mindset and the peacemaker mindset, necessary for effective mediation. How often does one get to sit at the foot of a master and their colleagues to have a process demystified, clarified and made comprehensible and in a comprehensive manner? While there is an ethical and now legislated duty to inform of mediation in many jurisdictions as well as even attend mediation as a prelude to litigation, there is still variability in the quality of the lawyer in so doing. This book will enable the lawyer to do so more eloquently and effectively. Those who embrace the practice of mediation, whether by referral or direct practice, can still have thriving practices. The thriving practice as Woody teaches throughout his workshops and publications is built on competency. Read the book. Become more competent. This formula is simple. Afterwards, thank Woody and his colleagues for this remarkable contribution to the field.”
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW, www.YourSocialWorker.Com, Toronto, Ontario (Canada)


“Forrest (Woody) Mosten, Elizabeth Potter Scully, and Lara Traum’s book, Effectively Representing Clients in Family Mediation, was just published by the ABA. This is particularly valuable because many parties rely on lawyers to represent them in mediation, and there probably are many more lawyers who act as advocates in mediation than those who mediate. The book describes family lawyers as dispute resolution managers. It discusses representing clients in court-ordered and online mediations, unbundling, using a collaborative lawyering approach, and setting up mediations, among other topics. Peacemaking is the heart of Woody’s philosophy, and the book includes a chapter on being a peacemaker. Take a look.”
John M. Lande, Isidor Loeb Professor Emeritus, University of Missouri School of Law, Publications // John Lande (missouri.edu)
Originally published at http://indisputably.org/2023/01/new-book-on-effectively-representing-clients-in-family-mediation/ and reprinted with permission


“As a practicing divorce attorney in New York, primarily focusing on the Collaborative process, I am in awe of the information in this book. From the discussion of the fallout due to career dissatisfaction of litigation family law attorneys to the mediation and Collaborative alternatives, this book spans such a wide range of options on how we professionals can do better. And in doing better by the clients, who entrust us with their matters, we are doing better for ourselves and for the overall profession. Particularly interesting to me is that despite the numerous client benefits associated with mediation or Collaborative divorce, the tangible benefits for practitioners are real and are clearly articulated in this book. Whether it is increased profits, lower malpractice exposure or the internal satisfaction of providing support systems for families, we professionals can benefit from the alternatives to litigation in ways we may not have considered. This book takes a deep dive into these benefits and I strongly believe this should be a required read by all professionals in the family law arena.”
Elizabeth Vaz, Esq., Collaborative Attorney, founder of The Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals, Inc. and CEO of DivorceDen.com.


Table of Contents:



  1. Expanding Your Practice by Representing Clients in Mediation

  2. Family Lawyer as Dispute Resolution Manager

  3. Mediation Confidentiality

  4. Representing Clients in Court-Ordered Mediation

  5. Using a Limited Scope Approach (Unbundling) to Represent Clients Outside and Inside the Mediation Room

  6. Representing Clients in Mediation with a Collaborative Lawyering Approach

  7. Setting up the Mediation

  8. Building an Agreement Your Client Can Live with

  9. Reaching Agreement

  10. Reviewing and Drafting Mediated Agreements

  11. Preventing Future Conflict

  12. Be a Peacemaker

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Praise for Effectively Representing Clients in Family Mediation


“As a psychologist I’ve found this book invaluable for both my own mediation practice and working with lawyers. This book makes an enormous contribution

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